Have you ever tried to tell someone something they're doing wrong or need to change?  You know, like when you have to give a friend or acquaintance a piece of painful advice?  Maybe I've never been gifted with the nice gene, I don't know.  My delivery is always way off and I end up hurting whomever I'm trying to nicely correct.  Or I just sound like a jerk!

Some people just have the gift of correction.  Nice correction.  My hubby….he has it.  Anytime I need something really taken care of…I go to him and ask him to handle it.  He has a great way of convincing the person to make the change or whatever it is that needs improving.  He knows how to speak with kindness and persuasion, while I just come off sounding rude or snotty.

Dang my over-the-top personality!  I blame it all on my high strung anal way of thinking!

I've noticed that I'm not the only one with this inability to communicate.  Over the last few years at work…a certain group of people {leave notes} for other's to read when they want them to change a behavior or stop doing something they don't approve of.  The notes can vary from –>Don't drink our coffee! to Don't print in color anymore!  But that's not all they say.  Usually the notice comes with a bit of tongue lashing or harsh hurtful words.

And they post it for the world to see.

My personal desk is in a classroom that I'm only in for one class.  If that makes sense.  Another class uses this room when I'm not there.  Every time that I come back to my desk, it's trashed!  My desk calender has been doodled all over and stuff written all over it.  The items inside my desk are stolen or "missing" and the whole thing is just ransacked!  Insert: ME VERY ANAL!!

It really makes me feel crazy!  I mean, really crazy.  I've been overlooking it all semester and cleaning up the mess.  But honestly, I want to tell whoever it is to NOT SIT AND PLAY AT MY DESK!!  It's not their place to party!  Except I remember my weakness at communicating such information nicely.  I'd surely be the mean queen if I said anything….don't you think?

Which points me right where I'm going with this whole post…..HOW TO BE NICE!  How do you nicely ask someone to stop doing something?  Is a note sufficient?  Do you need to (gently) confront them face to face?  What?  Or do you think just letting the whole issue go is best?  I'm not good at being a doormat or allowing people to get away with poor behavior.  It isn't right.  Then again, I also don't want to be the make people do what I want police either.

What would you do?  Or should I be asking WHAT WOULD JESUS DO?

Challenge:  Be nice to everyone.  For everyone you meet is going through something!

She doesn't mince words and I find her right on target with the subject.  I think you will too.  If you've ever felt alone or forgotten, read this book.  If you've ever suffered loss or abandonment, read this book.  If you've ever wondered if anyone cared, read this book.  If you ever had a single doubt….read this book!

What's it going to cost ya?  Not a thing, if you hurry over and click BUY!  Oh, and let me know what you think.  After reading the first few pages, I wanted to call Tammy up (not that I know her) and talk about what God has done in her life and mine to remind us both that HE IS THE GOD WHO SEES!

If you're not able to read the book…let me be the voice of encouragement today. Our God is a God that sees everything!  There isn't an issue going on in your life–divorce, family stress, work problems, child frustrations, enemy attack, illness…not a single thing that El Roi (the God who sees) misses.  He NEVER turns His head!  You and I can rest assure that our Father is watching and knows every tiny detail of our hurt.  He knows what each need is and every tear that falls He is right there with us.  For us, that is good news.  Life has a way of banging us down (like a nail in a board) and trampling all over our confidence to rest easy in Him.  But that's not what God has in store.

We can trust Him.  Lean on Him.  Rest peacefully in the knowledge…that HE'S GOT THIS!

Ok, go.  Download Tammy's book right now!  Go!  And have a great hump day.  I'm spending mine sick with a cruddy sore throat, sinus & ear infection while reading high school finals all day long outloud!  Never have I wished for a chance to not talk in all my life.  Being sick the last few days of school stinks!  :(

Pillows.  If you were wondering.

So, I'm keeping it in close proximity so that I can totally get my craft on ALL SUMMER!  The only problem?  Threading the thing!  I hate that part and I'm sure my hubby will loooooove 13 phone calls a day from me begging for help with that evil mundane task.

Dang, guess I'll have to learn.  Lame!

Just this morning, I stumbled upon the cutest flower necklaces.  I added that to my growing list of STUFF TO MAKE.  Also, Lisa at The Preacher's Wife has posted today her latest creations…key chains.  Ding, ding…more to my list.  Hers look precious by the way.  I think I've mentioned the cute aprons I'm dreaming of whipping up and yesterday I found the cutest nightgowns over on Everyday Chaos.  I'm going to kill myself trying to be this crafty.

I will post any success.  I promise!

Don't be alarmed if everything I put up is HOT GLUE GUN happy.  While I'm not the greatest seamstress, the glue gun and I are real good buddies.  Don't judge…but I've even been known to hem a pair of pants with it (I was in a pinch). I'm not going to let my fear of the sewing machine keep me from creating some magic.

Just you wait and see…

I've been bummed since last summer when my swing broke. When I say broke, I mean crunched to pieces broke and crashed to the ground LIKE GARBAGE!! It wasn't an expensive swing and it was little too. I'd been dragging it around for years and had only gotten it out of storage a couple years ago. It was a friend to me. I liked sitting out under my kids playhouse and swinging away on its scrawny little scratchy seat.

My excited family led me out to the playhouse (which was lit up with the sweetest lights–I LOVE LIGHTS) and there hung the biggest, fanciest, comfiest swing ever! A NICE SWING!! Not a cheapo flimsy one like before. I felt like a QUEEN! I love it! I can't wait to swing my summer away! It's been raining since I arrived back in town or else I'd have been enjoying it all day today.

Remember my story about the prom day fiasco? Hubby taking off and missing all the chaos? Yea, he was out buying garden blocks for my new flower bed. The one I've been waiting on for the last 10 years of living in this house. All I can say….is it was a gift worth the wait! It's just what I pictured everytime I walked up to my front door but didn't have. I can't believe how it changed my front yard. Wow! I am H A P P Y !!

I mentioned a few weeks ago that all I wanted for mother's day was the two broken windows on our house repaired. Nothing says white trash rednecks like a bunch of home maintenance jobs that are left undone, indefinitely or a washer on the front porch (I don't do any of the sort, I hide all extra junk in my garage). Everytime I walked up to my kitchen window…I wanted to cry. Same with my garage window. Both were so depressing! Not anymore! I have nice clear glass in my windows again.

See why I have to do my part and paint this summer?

Those weren't the only ME ME ME surprises going on. My girls had been putting together their own love gifts. They had journeyed off to the grocery store and bought ingredients for an amazing supper. Which is just what it was, amazing! I couldn't have cooked a better meal myself! Good job, Sister & Gator! The whole family pigged out.

I've mentioned here about my love language being ACTS OF SERVICE and this has to be one of the very best mother's day weekends of my life. I was off partying it up in a great city with 95 other fun friends only to come home to pure Eutopia! Home and family smearing blessings all over me. I felt loved, really loved.  And still do.

But there's one problem.

Remember this—–>

Yea, looks cool right? Well, I came home last week only to find a horrible attack had taken place. "Someone" had ransacked the whole walkway and flipped every piece of moss over. Leaving a trashed wrecked mess of the walkway. It stopped me in my tracks. I mean, look at it.  You have to jump spot to spot to get to your destination.  WHAT HAPPENED?

I was stunned and almost sure it was the works of this sweet little darlin!

Could it be?  Nope, she was inside locked safely in her kennel.  Hmmm!

Fast forward to this weekend. Hubby had patched it all back up and I even went out this morning in the rain to smash a few stray spots back down. Within a few hours THE CULPRIT had once again launched an all-out moss flipping attack! The place was trashed, again!

The case is cold as of now.  I believe I heard the words surveillance camera under hubby's breath when I told him the news.  He won't stop until he solves the crime!  No critter is going to trash my place and 'git away' with it.  Whoever it is….your days are numbered!

Speaking of numbered….

6 more days on the COUNTDOWN TO SUMMER!!

No problem! ; I'm typing extra hard!!

I started out my morning riding The Batman coaster! ; I couldn't have been inside SIx Flags for more than 10 minutes when I succomed to peer pressure and found myself in a very short line, handing over my purse to a teen ride worker and buckling up for a wild bit of twisting & flipping speed. ; Ahh, exhilerating! ; ; I'm too old, y'all! ; Seriously, I'm not too far away from being the granny who sits with the stroller. ; Just call me, Gladys. ; I don't mind.

The trip has been so much fun. ; I love the staff members that I'm here with and I have enjoyed their company. ; Life is good when the people around you are likeminded and know how to have fun. ; Oh, who am I kidding? LIFE IS GOOD! ; ; Any day that God gives me…..is good!

I miss my family. ; But I know they are plucking right along doing their thing. ; They like having a break from me (it's cool) and I'm happy to get away too. ; It makes me appreciate them and vice-versa (right, family?). ; ; I think everyone needs to escape every once in a while, right?

I love Chicago! ; It is one of the greatest cities. ; I could spend the whole trip downtown! ; ; The shopping is off the charts but the having to carry what you buy….not so awesome! ; I tend to find the biggest & heaviest items when I shop! ; So, I've disciplined myself and NOT BOUGHT ANYTHING!!

It's time to get back on my wandering through the park tour. ; I'm in search of some good shows. ; Somehow I make it to the ones that are either closed for today or don't start for 2 hours. ; Hrmph!

Hope your weekend rocks! ; And may all your mother's day wishes come true! ; ; TaTa!

Growing up wasn't easy.  My mother was never consistent with her love.  One day she could be warm and the next, toxic and vengeful.  I knew she loved me but her behavior was harsh and confusing.  I never knew which emotion to count on.  Everything seemed to hinge on her circumstances at that moment.  Maybe that's how we all parent and I just don't notice it in my own life.  For me, back then….it was a rough way to live.

I couldn't wait to mother my own children.

I promised myself that I wouldn't do or say the things she did.  I wish I could say that I've kept that promise but I can't.  I've fallen short and acted foolish as a mom myself.  I recognize full well that this job is one of the most challenging I'll ever have.  Still, I have made it my goal to teach my kids unconditional love.  I may have yelled at them in an angry voice but I've never skipped an opportunity to confess when I was wrong or to say I was sorry.

They know I sin because I've admitted it to them and I've asked them to forgive me.  I've also shown them by my example that people make mistakes and they are always worthy of forgiveness and redemption.  Afterall, Christ died for all not just a few.  I was never given forgiveness by my own mother nor was I ever asked to forgive her.  Everything that ever happened between us…was my fault.

I deserved it.

Years of this behavior has stolen from me the trust that most share between mother and daughter.  Our relationship is toxic.  Even talking on the phone is abusive and can make me feel 11 years old all over again.  Powerless and pathetic.  So, I avoid her.  

She hurts me, but accuses that of me.  Still, confusion.

Who never calls their daughter?  Who speaks with such meanspirited words everytime I CALL HER?  Who says horrible things about their grown functioning adult child to anyone who'll listen?  Who hasn't sent a birthday card to her daughter or grandchildren in years?  Who never says "I'm sorry, I was wrong"?  Who has lived her life bitter and hateful towards her own children?  Who feels jealousy and envy against anything good in their child's life?  Who?

My mother, that's who.

My dreams of a healthy mother/daughter relationship are reaching an end.  Her poor health and the distance apart that we live have pretty much completed our destiny.  She doesn't have it in her to be the mother that I've needed.  Her idea and mine are not the same.  For her, being in charge of the entire relationship is what matters most and if I can't accept that…then she doesn't need me.  Even though, she needs me.  

I don't know if I should hate her or thank her.  Because no matter what, I am the mom I am because of her.  Nothing I can do can change that.  She is my mother.  It was her that God entrusted me to 45 years ago.  What I do with that now is crucial to what my own children will do with their parenting decisions.  I want them to be healthy and loving.  While I can't change a single mistake that's transpired between she and I…I can be the mother God has called me to be.

And someday….the grandmother too.

God,

My heart swells with joy when I think of how special the bond is between my own kids and I.  It's a love like no other.  I'm thankful, proud and madly in love with each one of them.  I count them a blessing, a treasure, a privilege that they are mine (and YOURS).  Help me understand how a mother can't feel those things for me.  I want to be loved, nothing more.  Thank you for your love and the mercy & grace you lavishly blanket over me, everyday.  

Amen

Week # 1 — ORGANIZING THE PANTRY

I can only imagine what other's must think of me when they visit my house and have to throw something away in my garbage can.  The can is inside the packed & stacked "to the top" pantry.  I hate it.  It's like a magnet for extra stuff.  Surely, other people have stuff too.  I need to clean out the clutter.  

Week # 2 — CLEANING OUT CLOSETS

This one might do me in.  I can't even begin to describe the condition of the closets in our house.  It's the burden of not having much storage space and mixing it in with a family of disorganized people.  Disaster!  I really worry that the hoarder tv show people might visit and call me out on the packed mess.  Stuff equals stress to me.

Week # 3 — PAINT

I know I said that I had a bunch of painting to do over spring break….but, it didn't happen.  The hallways, kitchen, stairwell, family room & family room ceiling all need a new paint job!  I swear (imagine Scarlett O Hara) by all that is in me, I WILL PAINT MY HOUSE!  This might take a couple weeks but I'm willing to sacrifice.  Crockpot dinners will be a necessity or maybe even ordering out.  I can't do everything!

Week # 5 — WEDDING

I'm blocking off any frivolous items to attend my favorite Tennessee bumpkin friends SON'S wedding!  Woohoo!  I'm really excited to visit them and to watch as Dustin & Kandace begin their journey of love & commitment.  Congrats, lovebirds!

Week # 6 — VACATION

I'm not positive but since we are traveling to a wedding down south, it only makes sense to go a little further and visit the beach.  Fingers crossed, we will take a little hiatus and enjoy some fun in the sun.

I'm going to have to get back to you on the rest of my summer.  I've just counted the weeks and it looks like I'll be free for around 10 weeks.  Can you believe that?    I better get busy thinking of more "projects" to keep me on track.  Idle time seems to suck you into the blues and I don't need any blue days during my summer.  Know what I mean?

Here's to summer break!  Right?

I'm considering skipping out that weekend next year.  Maybe going on a weekend retreat or having an ingrown toenail cut out.  I'm reaching the age of TOO OLD FOR THIS PRESSURE!!  :)

By the 3:00 date pick up deadline….everything was smooth sailing.  But all the hours before then… H E C T I C !!!  And we thought we had our act together.  Details, little tiny details just sneak up on you and rob you of precious peace and harmony.

Note to self:  Do not ask your husband about renewing your auto tags at 11am on Saturday morning of Prom.  No, just hush!  He might leave and all heck break loose at your house.  You know, little things like breakers flipping while the prom girl is drying her GIANT MANE of hair.  Your son might get overwhelmed at all the orders you're barking at him and try to take off for shelter.  Oh and since it's all happening around lunchtime–EVERYONE will be starving for real food and you'll need to call your husband to pick up hamburger meat & buns…but you won't be able to reach him because all your calls go straight to voicemail thanks to his DEAD BATTERY!!

S T R E S S F U L

But hey, what's a special event without some dysfunction sneaking its way in?  Please, someone tell me other families get wigged out too?  Please?  

The night got started when the kindest gentlemanly date arrived to pick up our prom darling, Gates.  He had spent the day in Indy playing in a killer soccer game which his team got pounded.  So the guy was pretty exhausted!  The heat and humidity was at a killer level, so imagine the energy zapper that was.  Blek!  He trudged forward with a smile anyway.

See?

You can't tell he's hot and itchy in that tux, can you?

Your fancy chariot has arrived.  Wow, look at that shiny car.  I see a mom in the reflection.  Somebody's dad really loves her.

Ready to go.  Time to pick up the rest of their party.

The gang's all here (PROM) and about to enter the DANCE OVEN.  Don't they look wonderful?  I think so.

I'm so thankful for such a beautiful girl (inside & out).  Our family is complete with her as the baby.  It's amazing how fast she's grown into this lovely lady.

This is the one time I could find her outside of the dance crowd.  But it appears to still be her dance floor.  Everywhere is a place to dance for Gates.

They breeze in….and then blow out!  Leaving the prom and heading back to After Prom.  Such a long night filled with so much fun.  I loved seeing her smiling all night long.  Her date, Gabe was a total gem of a gentleman.  It's no surprise, he comes from a wonderful family.  They've invested in him and it shows.

At the beginning of the schoolyear, she really wondered how she would be happy at school without her best friend/sister Ally.  While it has been challenging to find a new friend group (she misses her peeps) God has not missed a chance to bless her with special pals all year long.  I've enjoyed watching her grow and make new friends while still caring for all the old ones too.

By the joy on her face this weekend… I think it's going to be a great senior year (in just a couple weeks) for you Miss Gates!  You're in for a wonderful big chick on campus ending!

PS-You were beautiful…all night long.  And it really was YOUR DAY!  I hope you cherish all the sweet memories that were made.  I know, I will.

But you know me….I pushed on, people!

I worked all day, raced home for a fun exercise walk with my school bestie and cooked up a mean dinner & dessert.  By bedtime, I was seriously miserable.  I remembered that I have tons of prescription decongestants–why not take something?

Ding Ding!

I'm here to tell you (consider this a public service announcement).  DO NOT TAKE A DECONGESTANT AT BEDTIME!

My night of sleep was more of a date with disaster.  I was up and down, I flipped from side to side.  I was hot then cold.  I was jittery like a jumping spider and I probably got up to use the bathroom 7 times.  The night seemed to last forever.

Only, it wasn't refreshing.

The worst part?  I still feel terrible this morning.  The congestion is still there and my throat is now at level fire.  And sister's got the med shakes.  Not cool!

It's Friday and Prom weekend….I can't be ill.       

Hope your Friday is full of love and blessings!  I know many of you are finally getting your sweet college babes home–hug them, feed them and be ready for some new independance!  College seems to make them grow up right before your eyes!  Don't worry, they still need you.  Just make sure to step back a little and let them fly.  They won't disappoint you.

Oh friends…..this is a keeper!

My family could not stop eating.  When that happens, I know that I've struck gold.  How happy can a mama get over finding a jackpot recipe that the hardest part of the whole process is remembering to THAW OUT THE DANG CHICKEN??

Seriously!  Make this, now!

CROCKPOT CHICKEN TACOS

4 chicken breasts (thawed)

1 small jar of Salsa (any kind you prefer)

1 package taco seasoning (your choice again)

Place chicken into crock.  Pour over salsa.  Add taco seasoning over all.  Stir a little.  Put the lid on and go away.

Hours later, come home and sniff the delicious air in your house.  Shred some lettuce, slice tomato's (whatever your family likes for tacos).

Shred your chicken and place back into crock (get rid of bones/skin).  Stir to mix in well with sauce/cooking mixture.

Serve on your crunchy or tortilla shells.

BE AMAZED!!

People are going to love you and your delicious dinner.  I also made a cake that night that I'd found on a blog.  It was a vanilla version of my Wet Chocolate Cake.  Everyone acted like I was on track to earning my SUPERMOM status back.

Look out, Mama's on a comeback!

I'm dry.

But in my defense……

I am mothering teenagers and young adults.  Everybody knows parents are idiots at this stage of their lives.  I remember thinking the same thoughts.  Wow, what a moronic way of thinking.  Glad I made it through those years.  I certainly deserved a shaking!

I'm not picking on my kids, really.  I've just come to realize (sort of slowly) that this may be the hardest stage of my parenting so far.  All the worrying, fretting and praying for their safety doesn't hold a candle to the many LIFE DECISIONS they are now making.  This is a crucial time for each of them.  Big ideas and flippant choices can make or break them.

How's a mama to deal?

I heard myself saying—(yes, I listen to me every once in a while).  When can I stop worrying?  Will they make it?  How much longer will every step they make affect me?

I'll answer.  Forever.

I'm their mom — for goodness sake.  I'll always care about what's going on in their life.  It will matter to me forever that they are making wise choices and self-supportive.  That's just how God wires us (ladies).

In the meantime, I need to find my sense of humor again.  I need to learn to loosen up and let go.  Life is meant to be lived abundantly….Jesus said so himself.  [Thank you Jesus]

SMILE, FRIENDS!!  The week is half-way over.

This is the pond emptied and gross during the clean-out!

Blowing away the fall leaves and fallen limbs.

This is my new flower bed that he built for me.  He planted some beautiful Clematis bulbs along with some other shade/sun loving plants.  The new pup thought it was her new DIGGING PLAYGROUND and then the fancy chicken wire had to be put around it.  FANCY, HUH?

Yesterday, he climbed up on our roof and cleaned out our ancient gutters. While up there he scraped off some very useful moss and relocated it to my front walkway. Thank you Honey, it's really pretty!  Plus, he took it a step further and made a moss growing concoction with Buttermilk and painted the rocks around my pond.  Yay, more moss!

After some rain, everything turned even greener and made itself at home forever where it was planted.  I like that!  It's almost like I can have a pretty shady yard.

The pond is cleaned and a new family of fish have been moved in ….hubby believes the frogs have returned (I accidentally scooped out all the baby larvae) to lounge around our little oasis.  Life is booming around my palace.

It doesn't take much to make me happy (no comment, hubby) when it comes to yardwork.  I love just about any improvement that takes place.  I know that a beautiful yard takes work much like a strong relationship does with Christ.  I've been lazy in both.  I miss opportunities to lounge in His presence just like I miss mowing because I go do something more fun—only to have rain when I'm home and available.  The yard ends up showing it's neglect just as my heart and attitude.

I need the Master Gardener in my life and I don't want to miss a chance for pruning even when it's painful.  I can tell when the weeds and vines are out of hand (of my heart) when tensions rise and frustrations are plenty.  I appreciate how God so gently loves on me and calls me to Him.

Like a beautiful yard….I want to be pleasing to my Lord when He looks at me — I pray my life is a reflection of Him and His love inside me.    

Father,

Thank you for the picture of your love for me through the beauty of my surroundings.  I'm nothing without you but a bucket of weeds and dried up rocks.  Help me to tend to the garden of my heart and make me grow to be more like you!

Amen